Have you ever had a strange, upsetting thought pop into your head out of nowhere? Maybe it was about something you’d never actually do, or something that made you feel worried or ashamed. These are called intrusive thoughts, and they’re something almost everyone experiences at some point.

Let’s explore what intrusive thoughts are, why they happen, and how you can deal with them.

What Are Intrusive Thoughts?

Intrusive thoughts are unwanted thoughts, images, or urges that suddenly show up in your mind. They can feel uncomfortable or even scary. Some examples include:

• Worrying about accidentally hurting someone (“What if I trip and hurt a friend?”),

• Thoughts about doing something inappropriate (“What if I yell something rude in class?”),

• Fears of germs or getting sick (“What if touching this makes me sick?”),

• Worries about being bad or breaking rules (“What if I did something wrong and didn’t know it?”),

• Feeling like things must be perfect or orderly (“I need to line up my books exactly right.”).

These thoughts can feel upsetting because they often go against what you believe or care about. For example, if you care deeply about your family, having a thought about hurting them can feel really confusing or scary. But here’s the truth: having an intrusive thought doesn’t mean you’ll act on it or that it’s true.

Why Do Intrusive Thoughts Happen?

Intrusive thoughts happen to everyone. Our brains are always coming up with new ideas, some of which don’t make sense or feel good. But certain things can make these thoughts stick around longer or feel more intense, like:

• Stress or Anxiety: When you’re stressed, your brain might focus more on negative or scary thoughts.

• Trying Too Hard to Ignore Them: When you try to push a thought away, it can make it pop back up even stronger. (Ever tried not thinking about a pink elephant? It’s hard!)

• Mental Health Conditions: Some people who have conditions like OCD, PTSD, or anxiety disorders might notice intrusive thoughts more often.

• Neurodivergence: ADHD, autism, and other neurodivergent traits might make someone more susceptible to more frequent intrusive thoughts or find them harder to let go. This is because our brains often process information in unique and sensitive ways.

The important thing to remember is this: thoughts are just thoughts. They don’t control your actions, and they don’t define who you are.

How to Handle Intrusive Thoughts

Even though you can’t stop intrusive thoughts from showing up, you can change how you respond to them. Here are some tips:

1. Name the Thought When a thought pops up, say to yourself: “This is an intrusive thought. It’s not me, and it’s not important.” Giving it a label helps you see it for what it is—just a thought.

2. Don’t Fight It The more you try to push the thought away, the more it sticks. Instead, imagine the thought like a cloud in the sky or a leaf floating down a river. Let it pass by without grabbing onto it.

3. Remember Your Values If the thought feels upsetting, remind yourself: “This bothers me because it goes against what I care about. That’s proof that it’s not who I am.”

4. Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness means focusing on the present moment without judgment. If a thought pops up, notice it, but don’t give it too much attention. Focus instead on your breathing or what’s happening around you.

5. Challenge the Thought If the thought feels like it’s saying something true about you, remind yourself: “Just because I think it doesn’t mean it’s true.” Thoughts aren’t facts, and they don’t predict the future.

6. Talk to Someone If intrusive thoughts are really upsetting or won’t go away, talking to a therapist can help. Therapies like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) or Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) are great for learning how to manage these thoughts.

Intrusive Thoughts Are Normal

It’s easy to feel alone or scared when intrusive thoughts show up, but here’s the truth: you are not alone. Almost everyone has strange or uncomfortable thoughts sometimes. The key is to recognize them as just thoughts and not let them control how you feel or act.

For people who are neurodivergent, it’s especially important to understand that your brain might hold onto these thoughts a little longer. But you also have strengths—like creativity and resilience—that can help you manage them.

You don’t have to face intrusive thoughts alone. There are tools, strategies, and people who can support you. You’ve got this!